I really do not understand why I find myself so in love with someone who lies right to my face and thinks I believe him; I pretend to believe him, I try hard to believe him, but I know better. He thinks he is so clever, but really I’m the clever one, as I see right through him. When we’re around our friends, he shows me absolutely no attention; he couldn’t be less interested. But when were alone, I’m all that matters. I know I’m an idiot. I know I am stupid for putting up with his absurdity. I’ve been telling myself this for months now, but I just can’t seem to break free of his grasp. I really want to commit this time. I cannot keep falling into the traps he leaves all over my life. I deserve so much better then what he can offer any girl. Lies lies lies lies lies, I just can’t deal with it anymore: How can I trust that anything he tells me is true when his mouth overflows with false information? He has got to go. I have to tell him that this time its for real, I won’t allow him to catch me again. I would like to be his friend, but the intimacy in our relationship hurts too much to keep going. And to just be friends will be difficult if it’s even possible. I must just not see him for a while, or forever. It’s sad he will lose me because we had such potential if he could only get his selfish act together and give a little to the people he supposedly cares about. He will be alone forever if he can’t get over his abandonment issues and finally trust someone to love him. My hope for that is very tiny as he is already a mature adult reaching the age of 29 soon. If he hasn’t learned by now, how can I expect him to ever learn.
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